Sunday, August 27, 2006

A Night of Pooping

Alright, so this is obligitory post about my daughter's ability to poop. i can't help it. It was Saturday night. After a cool party on Saturday afternoon, I was left alone with Autumn. We walked around town, me the proud papa, her the giggly, smiley magnet of joy. Anyway, there we were, sitting watching some bad TV when all of a sudden a sound came out of her butt that sounded the exact opposite of joy. It made Lucy jump. Heck, it made me jump. So, I've changed diapers, this would be a breeze. Little did I know.

The first sign of trouble was the little grin on her face. She's smiling a lot these days, but this was different. I had her on the changing table, really poopy diaper off her and in my hands when all of a sudden, a stream of poop followed a quick fart. Recall please that I am alone. Rhona is out at a party. Anyway, while the stream went a good foot and a half, things were contained. I threw a cloth over it, re-armed myself with a diaper, and went back in. That's when I caught another little grin. Another quick fart, and, another stream of poop. This one with a much better arc than the first. Which was good, because I caught most of it with the diaper in my hand.

So, my daughter is lying on the changing table beside the first dirty diaper. Her feet are on a burp cloth that's covering the first pile of poop from the second explosion. In my left hand, is a poopy diaper that I just caught her third projectile poop. Things seemed under control. I tossed the diaper, grabbed her legs and watched in amazement as another stream of poop came shooting out of her butt. At this point, you could tell she was tired. This one shot meekly, which sounds okay until you realize that it most of it ended up on her back.

At this point, even the dog left the room.

So, I pulled off her clothes, which where covered in poop, and realized there was only one option. A solo bath. Rhona and I have bathed her many times, but she was always there. This was me, Autumn, and a whole pile of her poo. Solo.

We struggled through the bath. I dried her, and dropped her in the car seat. It was at this moment that Rhona, thankfully, walked in. I said, thank god you're home.

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