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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Before I forget....

Women in various stages of motherhood often experience a memory loss. For example, even though you grunted, swore and screamed your way through labor when someone asks you months later what the experience was like you may find yourself saying something like "It was amazing, beautiful and incredible.... the pain was minimal". It is this memory loss coupled with the advice giving that makes talking with mothers who have 'been there done that' sometimes difficult and uncomfortable.

There is absolutely nothing worse than someone patronizing you with advice on motherhood. I am officially a member of the club now and although I have a lot of new experiences ahead, there are certain things that I am aware of.

This post is meant to remind me to watch how I talk to pregnant women or women with babies younger than mine. I vow not to come of like a no-it-all and to appreciate that there are times when no advice is requested or required. Sometimes people just want to talk about how hard it is to be a mother, or how painful recovery from a c-section is. I promise to sit back and listen to stories about horrible daycare emotions, formula guilt, arguments with spouses. I swear to never say " you need to do this... or you need to do that..." I will try to share in your pain and offer suggestions (if you ask) based solely on my experience.

I will try desperately not to offer too much advice or to forget along the way how difficult it is to become a mother. Wouldn't it be great if we all could try to remember.

1 comment:

JFB said...

I'm with ya sister.